Unspecified eternal

White blue light, walls and cabinets, so many commas, so many question marks. It is day I'm mostly sure. I have not slept well again. My intelligence is stunted I know this I articulate shapes and numbers don't add up--they do when I'm sober but this environment which seems designed to have a multiplier effect carcinogens falling on my back I am not this. I have tried it and yes it is not me to be stable in this maddening isolation--and so I will while the hours as I try to understand what became of the me I once was. I have nothing further to say even stream of consciousness is not nor will it be. And I wonder why I keep writing. the end.