So it goes...

This is just a brief post as I suspect most who know me know I have am already stateside...

It's cold. That's my first impression. Americans are still as annoyingly American as they have always been. Trees are going through the last stages of autumn before they succumb to winter. My hair is as red here as it was in Thailand.

I have come back with substantially more personal understanding and yet still not a clear personal direction. This is my necessity to understand where I'm heading now.

Hopefully I will see all of you soon... Take care. E...

All good things...

Hello folks (yes it is rather optimistic of me to use the plural)... Sorry this will be a whirlwind post. I have a catch a bus back up to the monastery where I will spend my last few days here in Thailand. Then it's back to my comfy desk job in the states...

After the orphans. I returned to the city and found out that my broken finger was healing alright (yay). Then I split up with my father and did the touristy thing taking the boat ride down the Mekok river to Chiang Rai on a Songtail boat...

From Chiang Rai I caught a bus up to the border and crossed into Burma just for the day. I had a very interesting time wading through the black markets there. More people are apt to speak English there than in Thailand as it is a former British colony. I met a very friendly young Burmese guy and we chatted and had tea for a few hours and he told me about how bad the government was (something he would be imprisoned for saying if anyone heard) and showed me his 1969 Reader's which he read to practice his English. I had to give him some money to buy another book. Then I bought a couple of black market watches and it was time to leave.

Unfortunately I began to feel sicker and sicker and barely made it back through Thai customs before I was puking my guts out. So I spent the next couple of days recuoperating from whatever it was before returning to Chiang Mai.

Today, I'll head back up to the Monastery for a few days of meditation zoom back to the city and get on a plane for the states... I'm picking one up for Zoe so if anyone wants Thai child for a manservant now would be the time to let me know. Also, I can get you genuine , 100% authentic Rolexes for only $20... Here's some pictures:

Riding the boat to Chiang Rai...

Feeding the elephants... I feel like such a tourist...

Following the young monks across the bridge that seperates Burma from Thailand...

Oh yeah, there's been a lot of flooding all over the country. Here's a flooded out town...

Hello... I think I left off the last post saying that Jace and I were going to visit an orphanage for Burmese refugees. Well, we spent a very fun evening with playing with them and bringing them a special meal. I bought a small guitar for them and taught them how to play simple melodies and chords.

They are the cutest, sweetest, most well-behaved children I've ever met. It's so hard to believe that their worlds have basically been torn apart by political and economic forces they can't even begin to understand. Some of them have seen their family members killed. Others have been abandoned by their parents due to drugs or poverty. Thai society is pretty despicable in its treatment of Burmese in general and does not recognize them as legitimate. It's hard to say what would happen to them were it not for a committed Burmese man who runs the center and a few foreign volunteers.

After spending such a fun night with them Jace and I decided to stay the next night also and take them to the carnival... Anyway, my hand is kind of hurting today so here's some pictures:

Guitar Lessons... I told you to play C Major!

No road access, just a path through the rice patties...

A very cute baby...

They just look unhappy. I promise they're having a good time...

Playing at the Carnival...

A couple of the girls...

Tonsip, the Burmese guy who runs the center...

Well, it's been over a week since my last posting but there wasn't much to report. I spent several days in the city talking to doctors and wondering if I would have to have surgery or not. The guy who was the hand surgeon could seem to decide whether it was necessary or not. Finally, I found a doctor who told me that I should be ok, but I have to go back on Sunday and get checked out again. If I get the green light then I should be ok... We'll see.

So after I got the go-ahead from the doctor, we caught a bus to Mae Hong Son in the Northwest near Burmese border.

When we get off the bus, there's an American there waiting. "Do you know where the fuck you are?" he says. "You're in the middle of fucking nowhere. This is the motherfucking jewel of southeast Asia."

Turns out he is a very weird guy. He's lived here for twenty years and I get the sense he was in Vietnam and just never made it home. He's been telling all the outlandish tales about being in the CIA and gem-smuggling and I have to say, I kind of believe him. It's all too weird not to be true.

Mae Hong Son is probably the nicest, most beautiful little city I've been to in Thailand. We've stumbled upon the annual celebration of the end of the rainy season. Every night they close off the streets and there are sport competitions in the streets with basketball, volleyball, thai foot volleyball, as well as several new sports I have never seen before... And of course there is Thai kickboxing matches which are so captivating at the same time as it in incredibly violent and bloody.



Apparently a substantial portion of the town's prosperity comes from supplying the drug lords just across the border in Burma. Not more than 100 miles away is one of the main opium growing regions in the world. There are tens of thousands of refugees living in camps nearby who have been displaced either by the Burmese government or fighting between guerillas, government, and drug lords. For as peaceful as this seems this is a huge conduit through which heroin and illegal gems are smuggled.

We have met some people who run an orphanage for Burmese children and this evening we are putting on a special meal for them. I bought a small guitar to donate along with other things and we will hang out and play music and entertain them...

That's it for now... Take care... Word, E.

Busy, busy...

Photo 1: Thailand's hottest new popstar playing a Seung, traditional instrument of northern Thailand.

Wow, it is raining torrentially here and so I have ducked into this little internet cafe to write a few words...

I have just returned from a very interesting week spent in a meditation retreat at a Buddhist monastery. It was amazing experience and has taught me so much about myself and my mind. I won't trivialize it by going into detail here, but I really hope to have time to spend maybe 3-4 more days before I leave as I'm left with the feeling that there is a lot more to learn.

Photo 2: Head monk at Wat Thaton where I stayed

Photo 2: Buddha statue on top of meditation center.


Anyway, it seems while I have been sequestered the coup has become more or less a done deal. The king sent for the leaders to come to the palace. Each of the heads of the armed services had to go and formally request approval which they then received... Which brings up an interesting point: Thais are ridiculously devoted to the king and queen. Many Thais wear a yellow shirt with the royal crest every Friday to commemorate the King being born on a Friday; and wear a blue shirt with the royal crest on Monday because the Queen was born on Monday. And then some people wear a yellow or blue shirt pretty much every day making me think they only have 2 shirts. So, without the King's consent the coup would have quickly fallen apart and it's most likely he at least knew about it beforehand...

Now I am seeing many guns and soldiers about. A couple of nights ago as I was climbing a hilltop Buddha statue, I was accosted by a group of drunk soldiers. They were mostly friendly but pretty much forced to me to get a little tipsy with them. I didn't really dare refuse I am back in Chiang Mai, the walled city, again. The bone in my finger was not set properly by the dumbass doctor I went to out in the country. So now I am at a first-rate hospital with doctors who were educated or interned in the US and who speak English. There is a strong possibility that I will have to have surgery have a metal screw put in, but I'll know on Saturday.

Well that's it for now... Thanks to everyone for their messages and comments. It really feels great to get a little word of encouragement... Alright. Take care everyone... E.

Military Coup

Crazy! Sometime in the middle of the night tanks began rolling into downtown Bangkok and seized government offices and television stations. The prime minister, who is apparently highly controversial, is in New York right now at the UN and it looks like he won't be coming back. There's been a media blackout and they've declared today a national holiday so none of schools or government offices are open.

I'm way far north in the country so the first I heard of it when I called my parents to say hi and they told me; I haven't seen any troops yet. Rather ironic really that I'm here and I have to find out by calling halfway around the world.

Anyway, I'd write more but my hand is kind of hurting this morning. I'm goind to start a week-long meditation retreat tommorrow at the monastery so if I don't post anything it doesn't mean I've been killed in large-scale rioting.
Cheers. Love.... E

Well folks I had written a long, witty, insightful posting but somehow managed to erase it. Sorry I just don’t have the strength to rewrite it.

The big news of the past few days is that I have broken my finger. We rented motorcycles to ride up to the top of a mountaintop monastery and on the way back down we stopped at waterfall to swim. In a careless moment I was walking down a slippery rock and my feet went out from under me. Naturally my hand shot out to catch me. I hit the ground hard and when I looked over my right pinky was pointing the wrong direction. My Dad kind of popped it back into place and I didn’t go to the hospital directly because I wasn’t sure if it was broken or just dislocated. The next morning, it was hurting so I went to the emergency room (an experience in itself since nothing is in English) and sure enough it was broken. Now, my hand is tightly wrapped and splinted and I am learning to do everything with my left hand. It’ll be 4 weeks before I am able to take off the splint so that pretty much hobbles me for the rest of my trip.

Photo 1: Note the surly exression. I have not had any coffee since leaving the states and it is early.

The past few days I’ve been riding a high of new experiences that even my injury couldn’t touch. Thailand is amazing. Great, cheap food at every corner; friendly people; beautiful scenery. Today was the first day that I woke up a little low. There is a local Buddhist festival today and as I write this every few seconds kids are setting off firecrackers. We’ve caught a bus to a little town in the far north next to a beautiful river. Less than a mile upriver is the border with Burma, home to what is probably the most brutal, oppressive, vile dictatorship on the planet. But here it is very peaceful and friendly. Last night we went and had dinner with an American expatriate who had moved and built a house here. It’s easy to see the allure of moving here. He had an amazing house made out of woven palm fronds and bamboo poles with no windows and a living room that opened directly onto a large deck with an amazing view of the valley below.

Photo 2: The amazing Wat (like a monastery) across from where we are staying. Too bad the photo doesn't capture how beautiful it is here.

Anyway, one of my many loyal readers had requested that I put her’s and Zoe’s name in print. So here goes: First of all there is Zoe, light of my life, continually amazing and surprising, passionate and wise. If you know her you what I’m talking about. Btw: I went in to a 7-Eleven in Chang Mai to buy a phone card so I could call sometime but no nachos with cheese. Sorry. Then there is Holly, who I’ve come to know and love through Zoe. This is for you: After the other bus passengers got done having a good laugh about my freckles, this guy wanted to try on my shades. So I took a picture:

Then there is August who, I understand is pretty handy with the Yu-Gi-Oh deck. You probably think you’re pretty good at Yu-Gi-Oh, but he will fuck your shit up. Seriously.

Take care everyone. Lots of love… E.






Photo 4: This is an elephant.

It's been like a dream so far...

I remember the San Francisco airport. I remember the group of China Airlines stewardesses passing dressed in regal purple with their porcelin faces almost as if they were flower petals blowing by perfuming the wind as they went. In that moment I loved them. I remember another guy my age looking at me incredulously when I told him that it was a 13-hour flight. What did you think? You're crossing the entire Pacific Ocean. Then I don't see him until I find him in the middle of Taipei airport shotgunning beers at 7 a.m. with some Chinese guy he'd just met.

The flight was pretty much a blur. I drifted in and out of consciousness. Waking up long enough to watch X-Men 2 and select between my two breakfast options: french toast with sausage or rice and nasty shrimp in a weird broth (they had another name for it).

We crossed the international dateline chasing darkness so even though I never saw the sun I left late in the night on Wednesday and arrived early morning on Friday. My old ex-navy roommate used to tell me about the things they would do to people the first time they crossed equator; I envisioned something of the sort with the other passengers throwing rotten fruit and insulting us in Chinese. But nothing, not even a funny feeling in your stomach as you cross the line.

Anyway, I've arrived safe and sound in Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand. Where I'm staying is in the old part of the city. Originally it was surrounded by a wall and a moat. The moat remains but only bits and pieces of the wall are still there. It's such a dense and twisting network of streets that I have yet to venture more than a few blocks from where I'm staying without getting lost. I'm feeling rather relaxed after having a traditional Thai massage at a government center that teaches blind people how to do massage.

So far, it's a little disorienting. I'm used feeling very confident in my ability to get around. Here if it's not in English there is no way know what it says; Thai script might as well be Chinese characters to my eyes. I walked by one restaurant that had the word "Menu" on their menu translated and nothing else. I thought, that's helpful. At least you know whatever you order is probably going to be good.

If you're ever in San Fran...

...I know where to find you a good prostitute and some crack... It was a bizarrely appropriate way to start the trip: as I'm unloading my stuff out of the car on the a downtown street I see a guy double parked whose talking to a woman standing next to his passenger side window. I thought to myself, this guys soliciting a prostitute.

And you know what? He was! Before I knew it, two unmarked cop cars swooped in; the "prostitute" disapeared into the crowd; they led the guy away in handcuffs; and one the cops drove off in the guy's car. Almost like it never even happened.

I'm staying in the ghetto because it was the only cheap bed I could find on short notice. It's interesting in a slightly unnerving way; a little sketchy but I just walk quickly and try to look tough, which is impossible when you're tall, goofy redhead.

Right now I'm sitting in a little cafe in the gay district. I asked the best way to get to the Golden Gate Bridge and the guy behind the counter told me all about where the best gay beaches around there were. Then he came over and gave me a gay nightlife guide. He's so friendly I don't have the heart to tell him that I'm not gay.

Well, that's it. Tonight I'll get on a plane at 1 a.m. for a 13 hour flight to Taipei, Taiwan then a 2 hour flight to Chang Mai, Thailand. I should have a camera at that point so this will get more interesting... Ciao. E.

Little Thai Boys

So my ticket came in the other day for Chang Mai, Thailand. I just kept looking at the Chinese characters on the back of the envelope and feeling this slightly giddy feeling in my stomach. South America is great and fun; exotic but understandable. Asia really is this whole other universe.

Then today I saw National Geographic has an article about Manchuria, the northeastern part of China. And it was about how much the prosperity was lagging behind there compared to other parts of China. The pictures were of coal mines and housing developments. It all looked cold and snowy and depressing. And even that kind of turned me on. I thought, I wonder what it would be like to be there.

I'm not really sure why I'm going there. I plan to do a lot of thinking. I've come to realize that I don't really know myself. I'm not sure if the things I like, want, am attracted, enjoy are really the things I like, want, am attracted to, enjoy or I just feel like I should feel that way... I'm starting to believe that my life can be different from my parents, ancestors. All the people that failed to sustain beauty, love, creativity, friendship do not doom me to the same...